ca·pri'cious·ness

Say a little prayer that we don’t get stranded in Oakland....

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 10:14:00 -0600

Say a little prayer that we don’t get stranded in Oakland. I don’t want to even imagine what will happen if the doodles are left to their own devices overnight… Especially without a dog door.

Good morning, Kansas. You’re awfully cold today.

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 08:00:20 -0600

Good morning, Kansas. You’re awfully cold today.

Two years in review.

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 01:17:00 -0600

I was going to do a year in review sort of thing, but in all honesty, the last two years have blurred together. This is more of a reminder to myself that it’s been a crazy two years and to not beat myself up if I haven’t done as great as I wanted to. It’s going great so far… I’m currently sitting here wide awake at 1:00 a.m. stressing out about stuff. Anyway, I’m sure I left a lot of stuff out, but these were the things that came to mind. Obviously some things are more serious than others.

April 2008: My grandpa has a massive heart attack. Waits 2 1/2 hours, finally decides to call a freaking cab to go to the hospital. A CAB. Almost dies within minutes of arriving in the ER. My mom gets a phone call that the doctors couldn’t get his vitals up and she should get on the first flight to L.A. because he probably wasn’t going to make it. Grandpa survives and is stubborn as ever. Freaking MOVES back to South Dakota 4 days later because he’s BATSHIT INSANE.

May 2008: Successfully survive first year of law school. Get married.

Late June/Early July 2008: My grandpa passes away. Colin gets deployed to Afghanistan 4 days later. The day he gets deployed, as I’m driving to Houston to catch a flight to South Dakota for my grandma’s funeral, I get a speeding ticket from the SHITTIEST COP ON EARTH FOR GOING 6 MPH OVER THE SPEED LIMIT.

July 2008: Colin gets hurt in Afghanistan and eventually gets sent home.

Early August 2008: Colin’s roommate, Mikey, from his senior year at West Point - who was in the same unit as Colin - is KIA in Afghanistan. I’m still at a loss for words.

September 2008: My grandpa has another massive heart attack. He once again calls a cab to go to the hospital. Everything ends up ok. Grandpa is still stubborn and insane.

November 3, 2008: I turn 24. Caitlin turns 26. Jack (Colin and Caitlin’s maternal grandpa) passes away.

November 5, 2008: Colin gets deployed to Afghanistan again. This was not a good week.

November 2008: A lot of stress, moot and mock trial tournaments, and… more stress.

Nothing noteworthy happens for a while… Just the usual law school stuff/husband is deployed/Stanley can’t decide which grass spot is the perfect place to poop.

February 2009: My grandpa has hip replacement surgery which is fairly risky because of his heart attacks. He is supposed to spend a few weeks recuperating in an assisted living nursing home sort of place. He tells everyone how much he hates it because “there isn’t WiFi” and he can’t “talk to the other old folks because they have lost their minds.” 3 days after his surgery, the nurses spot him wheeling himself down the sidewalk in a wheelchair. He had once again called a cab. Everyone gives up and just lets him figure it out for himself at home.

May 2009: Caitlin graduates med school. I start a new job. At the end of the month, Colin comes home. We move to a new house in Georgetown.

August 2009: I start my 3L year. Lyndsay and I move to a different apartment.

October 2009: Colin and I spend a gazillion dollars on Ernie’s foot surgery and getting Oliver neutered. We are broke.

November 2009: Colin and I get caught up in an awful battle with our shitty landlord who is putting the house up for a short sale. Awful experience. Shady people. Enough said. We move again. Become even more broke because we had to fork over a new deposit.

January 2010: Colin’s paternal grandfather passes away. Depressing all around.

But you know what? All in all, it’s actually been a great two years. I don’t want to sound ungrateful. There was just a lot that happened. We could use a boring year or two.

So, 2010, here’s to you. I’m hoping you are a very uneventful year. You’re not off to the best start, but hey, the year is still young. We’re just going to overlook that bar exam thing in July 2010.

A great man.

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 23:03:24 -0600

A great man.

Dear Ernie

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 22:46:55 -0600

There seems to be some confusion regarding the whole “we just smuggled you into a hotel motherfucking James Bond style” thing. You see, that means you can’t go on a walk every 15 minutes. Barking at the door and staring at me isn’t going to help matters. We are on the 2nd floor and we have to walk right by the front desk to take you out. We only paid the $75 fee for one dog, and I’m afraid that dog was described as black, which you, my shaggy blonde friend, are not. I know, I know. You’ve been stuck in a car all day (slash the last 3 weeks). I apologize. However, it’s not my fault we can’t fly anywhere because your ass is too big to fit in a crate that will fit on anything smaller than a 737 (and sometimes even then they won’t take you). TRUST ME. WE’VE TRIED. And do you know how expensive it is to board you and your brother? It’s expensive. My bank account is still recovering from paying for that shit last Christmas. I bet you don’t even remember that luxury “dog spa & resort” you stayed at. The place “dedicated exclusively to pampering Houston’s spoiled small dogs.” You don’t even want to know what kind of bribery and ass kissing it took to convince them to take you giant horse-dogs. So, Ernest, in conclusion, we really need you to shut the hell up. The creepy Russian guy staying in the room next door is probably on the verge of reporting us to the front desk. How about you just focus on cuddling with your brother and trying out all the new, strange furniture?

Thanks, buddy.

P.S.

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 18:44:35 -0600

I’m genuinely curious about the CD thing. I think the answers could be hysterical.

After several hours of listening to questionable music on my old iPod...

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 18:39:47 -0600

Colin and I confessed the first CDs we ever owned. Mine was Natalie Merchant. Colin’s was Jock Rock, volume 1. This probably says a lot about us. I had no idea there was a Jock Rock before Jock Jams. Colin just described it as a “solid album” and it was “the fucking original.” He is now determined to dig it out of his closet once we get to Iowa. Anyway.

What was your first CD?

If I remember correctly, this was the same gas station where an...

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 18:05:06 -0600

If I remember correctly, this was the same gas station where an employee was drunkenly passed out in a bathroom stall…

It’s the gas station in Oklahoma with the full-fledged casino...

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 18:02:00 -0600

It’s the gas station in Oklahoma with the full-fledged casino inside and bizarre sex toy and condom dispensers in the bathroom! And yes, that says “including the new Bin Laden condom.”

I just had a MAJOR deja vu moment. Only a few people who...

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 17:59:03 -0600

I just had a MAJOR deja vu moment. Only a few people who attended the OSU regatta in college will find this entertaining… Look familiar yet?

Re: Hitched

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 15:13:02 -0600

My phone wouldn’t let me scroll down to comment on that last post, so I’m doing it here. L. Sanders, I completely agree. I could only read half of that book before I had to give up. I also thought she was whiny, and I question the authenticity of any soul searching funded by a book advance. Glad to know I’m not the only one who just doesn’t get the obsession.

HITCHED

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 15:08:46 -0600

HITCHED:

lsand2:

In her new memoir, Elizabeth Gilbert gets married.
By Ariel Levy

…OK, so what?

I do not mean to disparage the author of this article for her choice of topic; it is interesting. The book in question, however, is somewhat ridiculous. I am, most likely, seated among the minority when I say I did not care for Gilbert’s bestselling memoir Eat, Pray, Love (Penguin, 2006). Levy has this to say:

Keeping things in perspective is not Gilbert’s strong suit. This is why she goes on so many trips and does so much information gathering: she wants to understand how her fellow-humans have resolved the issues that torment her.
So we should not be surprised that when Gilbert found herself on the verge of a second wedding, in a state of dread, she decided “to put a little effort into unraveling the mystery of what in the name of God and human history this befuddling, vexing, contradictory, and yet stubbornly enduring institution of marriage actually is.” She consulted books and scholars. She interviewed Hmong grandmothers in the mountains of Vietnam about their level of marital satisfaction. She went to see her grandmother. The result is Gilbert’s new book, a journey through domestic history and her own neuroses, “Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage” (Viking; $26.95).

Eat, Pray, Love was, in my opinion, a well written and well funded diary entry that is reminiscent of an adult child whining about her life. That being said, there is little motivation to buy her next story. Yes, she did research for this book, and yes, she compiled her findings along with her personal story that reaches out to a broad female audience. But, why should we care? Levy says:

We marry most often because we are in love and we think it will make us happy. Yet married women are more likely to suffer from depression than single women are. According to Gilbert, married women are not as successful in their careers as single women. Married women are arguably less healthy than single women. Married women, until recently, were more likely to die a violent death than single women—usually, at the hands of their own husbands. Sociologists, Gilbert claims, call this phenomenon ‘the ‘Marriage Benefit Imbalance’—a tidy name for an almost freakishly doleful conclusion: that women generally lose in the exchange of marriage vows, while men win big.’

Personally, I think it’s grade A hogwash: every relationship is different, and everyone is different. So, why the contradiction? If single women are stronger for their independence, then why should we invest in something that will only knock it down? And why does she succumb to marriage if it is something detestable in her eyes? I’m not really looking for an answer—I just think the talents that lie in her pen and research ability should be put to better use.

Chik-fil-A is now advertising Diet Dr. Pepper as a breakfast...

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 14:12:47 -0600

Chik-fil-A is now advertising Diet Dr. Pepper as a breakfast beverage. It’s like they are specifically targeting me.

thedailywhat: Ummmmmmmm of the Day: Meanwhile, in an Alternate...

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 14:00:41 -0600

thedailywhat:

Ummmmmmmm of the Day: Meanwhile, in an Alternate Universe where Michael Cera hangs out with Jersey Shore’s JWOWW, this happened.

[@JENNIWOWW.]

Even the dogs seem depressed about this car ride.

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 13:56:25 -0600

Even the dogs seem depressed about this car ride.

Back to Iowa we go. Unfortunately, it’s for a funeral.

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 13:53:10 -0600

Back to Iowa we go. Unfortunately, it’s for a funeral.

“Are we there yet? Perhaps if I bark repeatedly in your...

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 14:24:50 -0600

“Are we there yet? Perhaps if I bark repeatedly in your ear, we will get there faster.”

My oh my.

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 13:43:55 -0600

My oh my.

If you squint and back up about ten feet, you can TOTALLY tell...

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 01:06:48 -0600

If you squint and back up about ten feet, you can TOTALLY tell it looks just like Ernie.

The most pointless application ever. In other words, I’ve...

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 01:03:14 -0600

The most pointless application ever. In other words, I’ve been converting my photos into Lego masterpieces for the last 30 minutes.